Arsenica Lace brings you: “Bats in the Bustle”
This has always been a favorite of mine, and hopefully I can soon perform it again, ‘cause it’s so much fun! =D
From Debaser, Malmö, New Years Eve 2011.
Sooooo, look what I got for you! A lovely-lovely video from the Velvet & Pearls Ladies Club, Malmö.
“Banana Girl Going Bananas for Bananas”
Oh, and btw? Waaaaait for that very last banana ;D
Thanks to Lady Effulgent for filming it! =D
Heh! The package-question is the last one of this edition of Postal Apocalypse… That’s a whoooole lot of writing about Bowie’s crotch!
Arsenica Lace: Banana Girl going bananas for bananas… A Josephine Baker-inspired piece.
Performance at Velvet&Pearls Ladies Club, Malmö, 16th February 2013.
Photographer: Samaneh Roghani
(and yes, one of the bananas DID hit the photographer on the head…. *sighs*)
OK, I should have said this a long, looooooong time ago. Let me do it with a quote:
Wipe that goofy grin off your face and focus on the words I am about to tell you. I want you to drop everything you are doing and execute the following immediately. Failure in compliance will result in a wack in the head with a Dr. Marten boot. Trust me, it’s for your own good.
- Run to your closet
- Even if you’re not at home, you’ll just have to run back.
- Gather all coats, jackets, skirts or tops that sport a slit, vent or pleat
- Some common places to look include the tail of a coat and the side of a skirt.
- Identify any threads in the form of an X holding the slit together
- If you find said dreadful X on a garment you have worn out in public, proceed to hang your head in shame
- Snip the thread off with a pair of scissors at once
- Use your teeth if you have to. Seriously.
- Remove any remnants of this mark of stupidity
- Vow to cut every X out of your life
Hey, I sound like a relationship advice columist!
The loose X stitch is only meant to keep the slit or vent flat so it doesn’t get wrinkled during shipping or display. Once the garment reaches your home, the X will have served its purpose in life and should go on to die a glorious death.
You might think I am causing a big fuss, but this seemingly innocent X can do a lot of harm. A well-suited man wearing Ferragamo shoes and a Rolex can look like a fool in a second the moment he turns around and reveals the tack stitch he didn’t remove. A classy lady sporting a beautifully-fitted pencil skirt would not be able to walk gracefully if the stitch were still holding the slit together. No matter how polished the rest of you looks, the X will undo it all. Danger danger! Threads are threats!
If you are X free, extend your arms so I can give you a virtual hug. Friends don’t let friends leave their threads uncut and you are certainly a friend of Tiny Tines!
Seriously, I see A LOT of people who haven’t actually understood, that this little X isn’t a part of their garment. And it looks daft, since it completely destroys the shape and fit of said garment.
Please, just trust me: get rid of your X’es.
/The Fashion Fascist